People I am not at all enthusiastic about launching head-first into unfamiliar territory just because Daydreaming seems to be the latest "hot" trend at Church Follow-the-Leader Conferences and has spread like leftover jelly among so-called modern churches interested in nothing but numbers, numbers numbers.

Therefore I am in agreement with the Board of Deacons that we form a Study Committee to evaluate and form a list of objections before we sponsor a student ministry near the college, as some have suggested, and encourage you to continue our support for the Backrow Baptist Bowling League instead.

In particular I am concerned because having too many young people join our congregation would upset the balance, you see, as people of that age might start inviting their friends to church and make the situation even worse as the adults are outnumbered and become lost in the crowd, though their names are clearly revealed on each pew and stained glass window.

Naye, churches must always be careful about allowing unchurched people through their doors and sliding around on their pews. People not used to church often have no appreciation for the traditions and rituals that are important to us and sacred above all else, and often embarrass themselves by asking us questions like, "What did today's sermon have to do with real life?"

Thus if for some reason and out of the blue your teenager or college student suddenly asks to invite a friend to church and catches you offguard, immediately pat the top of his immature head and say firmly, "I'm sure that seems like a good idea to you, but people like your mamma and I do not associate with people like that, and neither should you. There are plenty of other churches for people like that to attend, so please don't ever start thinking like that again."

Yea, then tan their little fannies with a belt if you catch them doing otherwise.