People, this morning I received a vile phone call from a woman who is a former member of our congregation.

I say "former" because after she gave me a literal tongue lashing for almost twenty-five minutes, which left my ear as red and sore as if I'd been riding a horse bareback with only the side of my face for a saddle, soon as she slammed down the phone I pulled her membership letter from the drawer, scratched out her address and forwarded it on down to the bad place where she belongs.

This woman is the mother of a 6 year old (I did not care much for this little hellion in the first place, because he reminds me of a sly kitchen mouse) who attended last year's Caroling Against Corruption Hayride, which is how we protest showing R-rated movies during Christmas time each year.

She demanded to know why the church continues to use the same hay in the wagon, instead of buying some fresh every year.

According to Miz Know-It-All you see, after last year's hay ride her precious little punkin woke up ate up with chiggers all over hisself, which she snootily informed me could be avoided this year by buying new hay with no red bugs in it.

Her ugly selfishness made me realize I done heard it all. People how on earth will young people and children ever learn nothing about how to live right if they never suffer, and life is handed to them like a sack of sweet feed spilled all over the stall for them to gobble down all they want?

Once again this only proves that having activities for young people to entice them to church only leads to trouble, dissension and more of what I don't like.